Emotional Alchemy:
Living a Heart-Centered Life
My Heart Awakening story
Almost 12 years ago, I had an awakening. The mind and the body are connected! Well, of course, they are?! But up until that moment, I did not fully get the depth and potential of that connection. Without, becoming stuck in the story, I was facing an experience that I could not wrap my mind and heart around. I tried from every angle I had at that time, but I was STUCK.
This sticky stuckness began to impact all of my physical processing and emotional flow. It was as if a sludge took over my usually vibrant being. I lost my appetite, I could not sleep, I was depressed, I was challenged by bloating, migraines, and environmental allergies, and my menstrual cycles became plagued by pain, digestive upset, and clotting. Everything was STUCK.
Despite this state of sludge, my Spirit still sparked within. This wild intuitive guidance lead me to speak up and seek support. A friend lead me to a workshop, lead by a passionate dynamo, based on the Hendrick’s Institute’s approach to conscious communication. Experiencing this work was like an earthquake! I took on that dynamo as a personal coach. She was perfect for me, providing electro-shock if I began to sink back down into the sludge.
I no longer could tolerate the traditional approach to Western Medicine. I found myself exploring mind-body connections with all of my patients and feeling nauseated by the lack of trust in the body’s processes. This sparked a search for professional expansion. As a die-hard Western Primary Care MD, this was a big step outside the box. I happened upon the Center for Mind-Body Medicine. Dr James Gordon, founder of the Center, prides himself on his evidenced based approach, and this felt so safe and welcoming.
In life I found myself wanting to flee home (Indiana) for a new beginning. My incredibly courageous husband jumped on board and we found ourselves on an adventure exploring the west and east coasts. My only rules were, no lists of pros and cons. We had to make this decision from Heart. To my great surprise, both of our Hearts chose the lovely seaside town of Rumson, NJ.
Once the dust had settled on our whirlwind move, I discovered just how internally unsettled I was. My internal “issues” seemed louder and my desire to shift them even more intense. It was at this time that I experienced my first Professional Mind-Body Skills training. The trainings are immersive. You learn about the work by being IN it, in a small intensive group. It was raw, powerful, exactly what I needed and of course, I wanted more. The skills include a collection of evidenced-based approaches: holding presence in a group, journaling, mindful eating, still and movement based meditation, guided imagery, and using a family tree to awaken to stuck patterns and inherited sources of wisdom.
I went on to continue to advanced training, teaching in my community, and eventually became a certified provider in 2011. Despite my expansion, I was still desperately restless. I absolutely knew there was something else out there for me. I was seeking actively but nothing felt like a fit.
Then, as they say, “when the student is ready, the master appears.” My husband’s family lived 1.5 hours away in northern New Jersey. His Aunt Valerie was a long student of Taoist Master Grand Master Nan Lu in New York City. He was offering a new course called LifeForce Tao of Medical Qigong and was encouraging members of the medical profession to explore the approach. She gave me a brochure and an impassioned plea, but it fell on very resistant ears. I knew nothing about Chinese Medicine, energy medicine, and what the heck was Qigong anyway?!
Nonetheless, my wise Spirit did not have me trash that brochure, I stuffed it into a “junk drawer.” Two weeks later, I was in that same drawer trying to find info about the holiday schedule for trash/recycling. I pulled out that info and the LifeForce Tao of Medical Qigong brochure was stuck inside. As it gently floated to the floor, I knew it was meant for me. I called Elaine at Tao of Healing and told her “If you will have me, I am in!” I also told her that I wanted to know nothing about the training. I could feel that my rational Western medical mind would have a freak out and quit before I started.
I showed up to a convent in Morristown, NJ Winter of 2009 to begin my journey. Yes, a convent was our space for training! I sat cold, still, timid, and yet so ready to erupt with excitement, as our journals were passed out. I opened the page and read:
“From the Spiritual perspective, there is no disease or illness. There is only undiscovered purpose.”
-Grand Master Nan Lu
That was IT! This was IT! This is what I had been seeking even though I truly had no idea exactly what that meant or what IT was!
The next 10 days were a deep dive into foundational concepts of Chinese Medicine and lots and lots and lots of Qigong. LifeForce Tao of Medical Qigong is an energy practice. If we are to use energy for healing, we have to clear out a ton of “trash and recycling” and blast our energy foundation to a new level.
Holding the standing posture each day, I began to feel icy cold move into my hands. After 30 minutes, I had to open my eyes and make sure I was not frostbitten. What I now understand, is that icy cold was a layer of the old sludge energy moving its way out of my body. What I was beginning to understand, was this experience was way more about my physical, emotional, and Spiritual health and wellness than my professional journey.
After that incredible breakthrough, I was so open and hungry to receive more! I immediately researched the requirements for physicians to use acupuncture and signed on for a training program in San Francisco. I also joined the Tao of Healing Qigong School as a student of Grand Master Nan Lu and took every opportunity to join the trainings offered.
This path lead me through advanced Tao of Medical Qigong, herbal training, Dragon’s Way Qigong Instructor training, and eventually an apprenticeship with Grand Master Nan Lu in his practice in NYC in 2012.
The deeper I dove in, the more I recognized that the power of information, techniques, and approaches depended upon ME. How I received, processed, transformed, and integrated this wisdom into every aspect of my daily life. I also recognized the role of faith in the body, mind, Spirit healing journey.
“Everything Happens for a Reason. Everything Happens for Good. Can you See the Good? Connect to the Good!”
-Grand Master Nan Lu
Every physical symptom and life experience is present as a guide from Spirit to Body to Mind. Each of us understand their higher purpose but have locked away the key to this understanding. The journey becomes reading the signs and recognizing the relationships that have become out of balance both within our bodies, within our lives, with others, and with all of Nature.
Through my Qigong practice, expanding my awareness of these connections, Chinese herbs, and acupuncture, I am healing the “sludge” layer by layer. Letting go of migraines, digestive imbalance, seasonal allergies, insomnia, menstrual issues, depression, and even hypothyroidism. Within less than a year, I had discontinued all traditional medications. The speed of my processing happened because I began to see the Spiritual challenge of 12 years ago through the eyes of faith. I chose this experience to awaken me to my life’s purpose!
Living the practice at the highest level, I shared my raw experiences with my students and patients as they unfolded, inspiring them to awaken their healing power and intuitive gifts. Receive, process, transform, integrate, manifest...all of it.
The foundation of my life and practice is Five Element Consciousness. This framework provides a way for the rational mind to understand the connections between organ function, emotions, Nature, and healing foods. The framework is based upon Natural law, and reveals the way the Universe works and our place in it.
Emotional Alchemy and The Heart
Our intuitive self, our Spirit absolutely understands every aspect of these connections, our rational mind has forgotten and developed blocks to this inherent wisdom. By opening the mind to Five Element Consciousness, you re-awaken your healing power!
According to Five Element Consciousness, the Heart holds the position of wise Spiritual leader. The purpose of Heart is to live in peace, harmony, and joy with ALL of life. The Heart is an organ of FAITH and unconditional love. No matter what unfolds within the body or life experience, Heart knows it is happening for a purpose, it is happening for good!
The Heart is the house of our Spirit. Our unique Spirit longs to be expressed through every aspect of life: our organ function, our work, our relationships, our creativity and imagination! In a way, the Spirit is like the pulse coming from Heart bringing LIFE to life itself.
A Spiritual leader need not be bothered by the day to day stuff of body / mind processing. That is the purpose of every other organ system! Not until imbalance occurs in ALL of the other organs will the Heart reveal damage at a physical level.
Nonetheless, we rely on Heart to elevate life to a Spiritual level. We rely on Heart to help us infuse faith and love into our every experience. If we practice emotional alchemy: living a Heart centered life, we can discover harmony with all that is!
The Heart cannot reach its infinite potential, without the unconditional loving support of all other organ systems. We begin our journey by exploring and expanding our understanding of each of these systems.
